awww crap!

By Jeurja

Ah, what a cruel thing 'tis fate... one minute you may be rolling in riches, the next you may be digging in dumpsters. Life is like that. It seems you can never know what the next moment will bring...or *CAN* you?

Ladies and gentlemen: the Neo Geo Pocket Color Horoscope.

Unlike other handheld systems, the NGPC comes with software included. Not pack-in software, mind you. No, I'm talking software in the NGPC's internal memory. Turn on your NGPC and *voila!* you're greeted with uppity music and five options: Calender, World Time, Alarm, Setting, and HOROSCOPE.

The genius lies in the horoscope's simplicity: your horoscope is told by way of a clear and precise chart. That's right, it doesn't have a vague text message such "You will encounter something interesting today." C'mon! That can be interpreted in just about any possible way. The NGPC lays down your horoscope the way it should be. (Might I also add that having text messages would require writing them out beforehand and, since there is not a boundless amount of memory in the NGPC, chances are the horoscope function would reach its limits very quickly).

When you select the horoscope function, you will be asked for your date and year of birth. Once you have entered that, your reading is given. The cool thing is that your birthdate is saved so that you don't have to keep entering it each time you power on your NGPC.

Your reading is daily and consists of 4 categories: money, health, romance, general. Pretty self-explanatory, if you ask me. You are rated on a 5 point scale, using stars as markers. Thus, if your rating for the day is 4 out of 5 stars in health, you should feel good. If it's 5 out of 5 starts in romance, you might get "lucky." If it's 1 out of 5 stars in general, your day will most likely be pretty crappy overall. You get the picture.

As for graphics...there's not much to report. The layout of information is simple and effective. There is also a nice, fruity heart-motif going on in the background. In addition, the folks at SNK were kind enough to put a clock in the lower right hand corner of the screen so you'll always know what the current time is.

I know what you're thinking: does the NGPC horoscope know what cruel fate has in store for you? Signs point to yes, actually... The readings are *NOT* random. I did a little experiment and tried my horoscope on two different NGPCs and it had the same reading for each!

Face it, we all want to know what lies ahead of us on the road of life. That is why horoscopes are so popular. Thankfully, in the end, there is no reason to waste money on expensive phone calls to "The Psychic Network." There's not even any reason to open your newspaper or magazine to check. Just turn on your NGPC and let it work its horoscope magic for you.